Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation

Can Be Emotional

Child Abuse

Ken Lewis

Director, Child Custody Evaluation Services of Philadelphia, Inc.

What is and is not parental

alienation? Here are some of its

descriptors, possible effects on

children, and tips for custody

evaluators and family court judges.

When marital discord evolves into hatred, many

couples are quick to see divorce as their best option.

Divorce may be an easy way out for the couple, but it

often wreaks havoc on the children. When parents seek

help from state courts, family court judges can appoint

mental health professionals as custody evaluators to guide

them in determining the future best interests of the

children. While these professionals are historically skilled

at identifying physical child abuse, they are beginning to

identify a more insidious form of emotional child abuse

called parental alienation. When this form of abuse

is correctly and timely identiﬁed, custody evaluators

can recommend speciﬁc strategies for success.

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

Parental Alienation vs.

Parental Alienation Syndrome

Parental alienation is frequently confused with the

parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Dr. Richard Gardner,

an American psychiatrist who died in 2003, coined the

phrase “parental alienation syndrome” in 1985 and

wrote extensively about it. He deﬁned the syndrome as:

a childhood disorder that arises almost

exclusively in the context of child-custody

disputes. It is a disorder in which children,

programmed by the allegedly “loved” parent,

embark upon a campaign of denigration of

the allegedly “hated” parent. The children

exhibit little if any ambivalence over their

hatred, which often spreads to the extended

family of the allegedly despised parent

(“Recommendations for Dealing with Parents

Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome

in Their Children,” Journal of Divorce and

Remarriage 28, nos. 3-4 [1998]).

Gardner used the term “syndrome” because of his

medical background. A syndrome is a cluster of related

symptoms. Syndromes are generally discouraged as

evidence in court because they refer to symptoms from

a collection of individuals, while the court is only

concerned with those individuals who have standing

for the matter before the court.

For Gardner, the syndrome describes the child’s

campaign of denigration against one of their parents—

a campaign that is encouraged by the other parent.

It should be noted that there is no PAS when abuse or

neglect is present. PAS can only be applicable when the

“hated” parent has not abused or neglected the child

or exhibited any behavior that would justify the child’s

animosity toward that parent.

While PAS identiﬁes a problem in the child (“a childhood

disorder”), parental alienation identiﬁes a collection of

one parent’s behaviors aimed at causing the child to

become alienated from the other parent. Children can

become alienated from a parent for a variety of reasons,

such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse,

parental abandonment, adult alcoholism, narcissism, and

other reasons. Sometimes, a child may become alienated

from the parent who initiated the divorce, blaming that

parent for breaking up the family. But while these

reasons may explain why the child is alienated from the

parent, none would qualify as descriptors for parental

alienation. Parental alienation is a strategy whereby one

parent intentionally displays to the child unjustiﬁed

negativity aimed at the other parent. The purpose of

this strategy is to damage the child’s relationship with

the other parent and to turn the child’s emotions against

that other parent. This strategy has been called a

“head-trip game” (see Ken Lewis, Child Custody Evaluations

by Social Workers: Understanding the Five Stages of Custody

[Washington, DC: NASW Press, 2009], p. 44).

Parental alienation is a particular family dynamic that

can emerge during divorce in which the child becomes

excessively hostile and rejecting of one parent. This

hostility can involve transgenerational dynamics about

which evaluators and family court judges should be aware.

The remainder of this article presents:

• a list of the various descriptors that identify

parental alienation;

• the possible effects on the children;

• parental alienation as a form of emotional

child abuse;

• the ways that courts have responded to

parental alienation; and

• 10 tips for family court judges.

Parental Alienation Syndrome

can only be applicable when

the “hated” parent has not

abused or neglected the child

or exhibited any behavior

that would justify the child’s

animosity toward that parent.

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

Descriptors of Parental Alienation

When investigating whether parental alienation is

present, a custody evaluator looks for a variety of

descriptors concerning the targeted parent and the

alienating parent. Ten such descriptors are:

1. The child expresses a relentless hatred

for the targeted parent.

2. The child’s language parrots the language

of the alienating parent.

3. The child vehemently rejects visiting the

targeted parent.

4. Many of the child’s beliefs are enmeshed

with the alienating parent.

5. Many of the child’s beliefs are delusional

and frequently irrational.

6. The child’s reasons are not from direct

experiences but from what has been told

to him or her by others.

7. The child has no ambivalence in his or her

feelings; they are all hatred with no ability

to see the good.

8. The child has no capacity to feel guilty about his

or her behavior toward the targeted parent.

9. The child and the alienating parent are in

lockstep to denigrate the targeted parent.

10. The child can appear like a normal healthy child.

But when asked about the targeted parent,

it triggers his or her hatred.

Effects of Parental Alienation

on the Children

Parental alienation is a form of emotional child abuse.

The potential impact of this abuse on a child’s life can

be devastating. Some of the frequently listed effects

of parental alienation have been reported in the child

welfare literature, including:

• an impaired ability to establish and maintain

future relationships;

• a lowering of the child’s self-image;

• a loss of self-respect;

• the evolution of guilt, anxiety, and depression

over their role in destroying their relationship

with a previously loved parent;

• lack of impulse control (aggression can turn

into delinquent behavior); and

• educational problems, disruptions in school.

Family therapists who have treated alienated children

have classiﬁed the problem as a “parent-child relational

problem,” as outlined by the American Psychiatric

Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental

Disorders (4th ed.).

Parental Alienation and Emotional

Child Abuse in State Statutes

Children who suffer from emotional abuse often

elude the legal assistance of the child protection

system. For example, this emotional abuse is usually

invisible to teachers and social workers and even

the family court judge. The alienated child will talk

with the judge in language and syntax similar if

not identical to the way the alienating parent talks.

While the targeted parent often appears anxious,

depressed, or angry, the alienating parent appears

relaxed, composed, and, therefore, credible.

The normative framework of the child protection

system does not always include the emotional abuse

of children. For the majority of states, the physical

health and safety of children are focal points in

determining whether abuse or neglect has occurred.

Nonetheless, 48 states include emotional abuse or

maltreatment in their abuse deﬁnitions. (Emotional

maltreatment is not included in statutory deﬁnitions

in Georgia and Washington, but it can be found

elsewhere in their statutes.)

Parental alienation is a

strategy whereby one parent

intentionally displays to the

child unjustied negativity

aimed at the other parent.

The purpose of this strategy

is to damage the child’s

relationship with the other

parent and to turn the

child’s emotions against

that other parent.

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

Samples of Statutory Denitions in the

United States and Canada

California

“A child who is suffering serious emotional damage, or is

at substantial risk of suffering serious emotional damage,

evidenced by severe anxiety, depression, withdrawal,

or untoward aggressive behavior toward self or others,

as a result of the conduct of the parent or guardian.”

Michigan

“‘Serious mental harm’ means an injury to a child’s

mental condition … that is not necessarily permanent

but results in visibly demonstrable manifestations

of a substantial disorder of thought or mood which

signicantlyimpairsjudgment,behavior,capacity

to recognize reality.” MCL 750.136b (1)(g).

Punishment for serious mental harm is prescribed:

“A person is guilty of child abuse in the rst degree

if the person knowingly or intentionally causes serious

physical or serious mental harm to a child. Child abuse in

therstdegreeisafelonypunishablebyimprisonment

for not more than 15 years.” MCL 750.136b (2).

Minnesota

“Persons guilty of neglect or endangerment (include)

a parent … who endangers the child’s … health by: …

permitting a child to be placed in a situation likely

to substantially harm the child’s … emotional health.”

Minn. Stat. § 609.378, Subdivision 1 (a)(2)(b)(1) (2005).

Nevada

“'Substantial mental harm' means an injury to the …

emotional condition of a child as evidenced by

an observable and substantial impairment of the

ability of the child to function within his normal

range of performance or behavior.”

Nev. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 200.508, 4 (e) (2006).

North Dakota

“Aparent…whowillfullyinicts…uponthe

child mental injury … is guilty of a class C felony

except if the victim … is under the age of six

years in which case the offense is a class B felony.”

N.D Cent. Code, § 14-09-22.1 (2013).

Wyoming

“‘Mental injury’” means an injury to the … emotional

stability of a child as evidenced by an observable …

impairment in his ability to function within a normal

range of performance.”

Wyo. Stat. § 14-3-202 (A) (2006).

Manitoba

“The best interests of the child shall be the paramount

consideration of the … court in all proceedings … .

[R]elevant matters shall [include] … the child’s

opportunity to have a parent-child relationship as a

wanted and needed member within a family structure

… [and] the … emotional … needs of the child and

the appropriate care … to meet such needs.”

The Child and Family Services Act, 1985, C.C.S.M. c. C80 2(1)(a) & (b)

[Continuing Consolidation of the Statutes of Manitoba].

Ontario

“No person having charge of a child shall permit

the child to suffer from a mental, emotional or

developmental condition that, if not remedied,

could seriously impair the child’s development.”

Ontario Child and Family Services Act, R.S.O. 1990,

Chapter C.11 sec. 79 (2)(b)(ii).

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

Whether “mental harm,” “mental injury,” “emotional

instability,” “emotional endangerment,” “emotional

damage,” or some other phrase, it is clear that

emotional child abuse is a statutory crime. When

one parent intentionally encourages the child to

turn against the other parent, he or she is employing

parental alienation as a strategy.

When this strategy is used by one parent in hopes of

alienating the child against the other parent, it is

tantamount to teaching the child how to hate. Canadian

Judge John H. Gomery put it eloquently this way:

“Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child.

It has to be taught…. Defendant has deliberately

poisoned the minds of his children against the mother

that they formerly loved and needed” (Stuart-Mills, P. v.

Cher, A. J., Sup. Ct. Quebec, District of Montreal [1991]).

Parental alienation can be administered in mild or

extreme amounts, or anything in between. In its extreme

form, it can be deﬁned as criminal behavior, consistent

with the various state deﬁnitions presented above.

How the Courts Have Responded

to Parental Alienation

Courts in different states have responded to parental

alienation in different ways. Basically, there have been

four categories of these responses.

Criminal Response. Some states make interference

with custody a criminal offense. For example, New

Jersey makes interference a crime of the third degree

that may lead to imprisonment for three to ﬁve years

or a ﬁne of $7,500 or both. All states make emotional

child abuse or maltreatment of a child a criminal

offense. Some extreme cases of parental alienation

may warrant this response.

Civil Remedies. All courts can impose civil sanctions

by way of contempt-of-court orders. When a parent’s

strategy of parental alienation endangers the child’s

relationship with the other parent, some of the possible

civil remedies may be economic sanctions against

the alienating parent or short incarceration time for

contempt of court.

Custody Responses. All courts that have initial

custody jurisdiction have the authority to modify

previous custody orders. Responses to parental alienation

have been to deny initial custody (order a parental

alienation evaluation, deny custody to the alienating

parent); to modify visitation (extend visits between

the child and the alienated parent, establish supervised

visitations); and to modify previous custody (temporary

modiﬁcation of custody for speciﬁc time periods,

permanent modiﬁcation of custody, reverse custody).

Therapeutic Responses. Family law’s innovations

and reforms have become the showcase for therapeutic

jurisprudence. Parental alienation cases provide

opportunity to demonstrate how the strategy of

replacing the “punishment” role of the courts with the

therapeutic “ﬁx-the-problem” approach can advantage

children. Evaluation and therapy are earmarks of the

therapeutic response to parental alienation.

The court could order an evaluation of the child to

determine whether parental alienation is operative

in a case and, if so, at what level is it operative.

• The court could order individual therapy

for the alienator.

• The court could order family therapy

in mild cases.

• Parental alienation therapy by a specialist could

be ordered by the court in extreme cases.

When the strategy [of parental

alienation] is successful,

the emotional consequences

to the child can be damaging

and may rise to the level

of criminal behavior.

TRENDS IN STATE COURTS TRENDS IN STATE COURTS

Parental Alienation Can Be Emotional Child Abuse

Ten Tips for Custody Evaluators and Family Court Judges

Tip #1 There is no parental alienation when there

is reasonable justication for the child to

express negativity against one parent.

Tip #2 Parental alienation can be a strategy used

by the custodial parent, the noncustodial

parent, or both parents.

Tip #3 Parental alienation is nearly impossible

when the child is an infant.

Tip #4 The beginning stage of parental alienation is

difcult to begin in the child’s late teen years.

Tip #5 Parental alienation can be operative on

one sibling, while not operative on the

other siblings.

Tip #6 If parental alienation is suspected or alleged,

it should be assessed by a custody evaluator

experienced in the matter.

Tip #7 Extreme parental alienation should be

considered emotional child abuse and

referred criminally.

Tip #8 Often parental alienation can be reduced

or eradicated by ordering more time

between the child and the targeted parent.

When a child spends frequent positive

time (primary experience) with one parent,

it is less likely that the other parent’s

parental alienation strategy will be successful.

Tip #9 Parental alienation case law is growing;

family court judges should become familiar

with cases in their jurisdictions.

Tip #10 Identify mental health professionals in family

court jurisdictions who have expertise in

parental alienation.

Parental Alienation

Bench Card

Parental Alienation Descriptors



1. The child expresses a relentless hatred

for the targeted parent.

 2. The child’s language parrots the language

of the alienating parent.

 3. The child vehemently rejects visiting the target-

ed parent.

 4. Many of the child’s beliefs are enmeshed

with the alienating parent.

 5. Many of the child’s beliefs are delusional

and frequently irrational.

 6. The child’s reasons derive from what has

been told to the child by others.

 7. The child has no ambivalence about his

or her negative feelings; they are all hatred.

 8. The child feels no guilt about his or her negativ-

ity toward the targeted parent.

 9. The child and the alienating parent are in

lockstep to denigrate the targeted parent.

 10. The child can appear like a normal healthy

child, but, when asked about the targeted

parent, it triggers his or her hatred.

Effects of Parental Alienation

on the Alienated Child



1. An impaired ability to establish and maintain

future relationships.

 2. A low self-image.

 3. A loss of self-respect.

 4. Over time: guilt and depression for destroying

the relationship with a previously loved parent.

 5. Lack of impulse control. Aggression can turn

into delinquent behavior.

Court’s Possible Responses

During Child Custody Litigation



1. Enter order to determine whether parental

alienation is operative and, if so, at what level.

 2. Order individual therapy for the alienator.

 3. Order family therapy in mild cases.

 4. In more severe cases, order parental

alienation therapy by a specialist.

Caution: If possible, parental alienation should be

addressed in its early stages. It is signicantly more

difcult to treat if it progresses over time and grows

more intense.