Effects of Divorce on Children: The Importance of Intervention

Intuition: The BYU Undergraduate Journal of Psychology Intuition: The BYU Undergraduate Journal of Psychology

Volume 13 Issue 1 Article 3

2018

Effects of Divorce on Children: The Importance of Intervention Effects of Divorce on Children: The Importance of Intervention

Katherine Donahey

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Effects of Divorce on Children:

The Importance of Intervention

Katherine Donahey

Brigham Young University

Abstract

When parents divorce, their children are aected in signicant

ways. Many of the consequences of marital dissolution may

adversely aect children’s success in their future romantic

relationships, but fortunately this downward spiral can be

mitigated through deliberate parental eorts (Cui & Fincham,

2010; Shulman, Zlotnik, Shachar-Shapira, Conolly, & Bohr, 2012).

One remedy to counteract this trend is conscientious coparenting—

continuing to work together despite altered family dynamics, since

such eort positively impacts the children’s future relationships,

specically daughters’ future intimacy (Haaz, Kneavel, & Browning,

2014; Shulman et al., 2012). Another signicant factor in children’s

future marital success is the amount of conict between their

parents. High-conict parental relationships have been linked to

children’s diculty in forming their own healthy relationships (Cui

& Fincham, 2010; Gager, Yabiku, & Linver, 2016; Sprague & Kinney,

1997). However, when the amount of conict between parents

decreases following divorce, children fare signicantly beer

(Gager et al., 2016). If divorced parents have an increased awareness

of how their behavior and relationship aect their children, they

may take measures towards more cooperation and less conict, thus

increasing their children’s future chance for success in romantic

relationships.

Keywords: divorce, children, coparenting, conict

Donahey: Effects of Divorce on Children

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Eects of Divorce on Children: The Importance of Intervention

Six months after Zachary and Pauline Robison divorced, they

noticed their children acting out. Eight-year-old Tom returned

from his father’s house noticeably irritable, and 6-year-old Sarah

did not want to go to her father’s house at all. Pauline decided to

pursue family therapy, to which Zachary reluctantly agreed. The

tense atmosphere of the rst therapy session dissipated over time

as each person eventually shared their feelings and concerns. By the

end of their family’s postdivorce treatment, Pauline and Zachary

understood the importance of parenting together for the good of

their children, despite their legal and physical separation. All family

members sat on the same couch during therapy, comfortable with

each other and their redened relationships (adapted from Wylder,

1982).

Following divorce, children experience many diculties which

may linger into adulthood if left unaddressed, adversely aecting

their success in intimate relationships (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Haaz,

Kneavel, & Browning, 2014; Shulman, Zlotnik, Shachar-Shapira,

Conolly, & Bohr, 2012). These potential long-term consequences

reveal the importance of taking remedial action following

divorce—now a common occurrence in modern society. Perhaps

not surprisingly, Amato (1994) observed, “The high rate of marital

dissolution means that about 40% of children will experience a

parental divorce prior to the age of 16” (p. 143). According to

the American Psychological Association (2017), roughly half of

United States marriages end in divorce, and the likelihood is even

greater for second and subsequent marriages. The prevalence of

divorce demands an investigation of its eects and their remedies

to prevent the tide of broken families from surging into the next

generation.

Studies on the eects of divorce on children reveal several

common struggles. For example, the experience of parental divorce

often conveys negative messages about marriage, family, and

relationships, creating mental constructs that manifest themselves

in children’s diculty forming relationships in the future (Cui

& Fincham, 2010; Weigel, 2007). Another issue frequently faced

Eects of Divorce on Children

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Eects of Divorce on Children

by children of divorce is an increase in mental health challenges

aributable to the decreased involvement of parents following

divorce (Sandler, Wheeler, & Braver, 2013). These ndings show

that children are not immune to the eects of divorce and can suer

severe and lasting consequences if left untreated.

While the eects of divorce on children are often detrimental,

many divorced parents are unaware of the importance of

interventions for their children. Such measures aim to reduce the

likelihood of suering short- and long-term consequences from

divorce. As noted by Amato (1994) in a summarization of several

studies, research has found that although many children from

divorced families adequately adjust without formal therapy, those

who received professional help beneed from it. Other studies

have revealed that parent-centered programs, such as the New

Beginnings Program, ameliorate the negative eects of divorce on

children (Mahrer, Winslow, Wolchik, Tein, & Sandler, 2014; Velez,

Wolchik, Tein, & Sandler, 2011). These resources and many others

are available to families that experience divorce; however, many

people who divorce may ignore the benets of formal and informal

intervention potentially to the detriment of their children’s well-

being (Amato, 1994).

Although many studies have explored methods of helping

children navigate divorce, a disconnect appears to exist between

knowledge and application. An increase in the dissemination

of ndings regarding eective ways to combat the negative

outcomes of divorce on children would likely motivate parents

to take deliberate action to ght this trend. An active approach to

reducing the occurrence of the harmful eects of divorce may aid

aected children in being successful in the future. While therapy

is a commonly acknowledged method for mitigating the eects

of divorce and familial restructuring, there are other less formal

strategies available, such as continuing to parent together and

minimizing conict.

With regard to the inuence of parenting on children following

divorce, coparenting is thought to be an eective way to alleviate

the negative impacts on children, (Bastaits & Mortelmans,

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2016; Shulman et al., 2012). PsycINFO Thesaurus (2017) dened

coparenting as a term “used to signify parenting behavior and

responsibility by two or more unmarried individuals” (para. 1).

This teamwork approach to parenting can manifest itself in many

dierent forms, but research has shown that following divorce,

children whose mother and father work together to parent are most

successful (Bastaits & Mortelmans, 2016). The decision to parent

together following divorce may have signicant positive eects on

the future success of children.

Another key method for avoiding long-term consequences

of divorce on children is the minimization of parental conict.

Prolonged exposure to such conict leads to decreased future

marital success for the children (Gager, Yabiku, & Linver, 2016).

Additionally, as concluded by Cui and Fincham (2010), children

who witness conict between their parents later exhibit similar

paerns of conict in their own marriages. Eorts to avoid parental

conict facilitate greater marital success for children due, in part,

to a decrease in learned conict behaviors (Cui & Fincham, 2010).

Eorts to avoid conict and encourage coparenting may combat

the transgenerational paern of marital problems (Cui & Fincham,

2010; Shulman et al., 2012). Although dissolution of marriage is an

increasingly common aspect of the modern family structure, the

negative eects of divorce on children can be mediated through

purposeful coparenting and a joint parental eort in order to

minimize conict because these deliberate interventions may

facilitate the healthy formation of children’s future romantic

relationships.

Coparenting

Following divorce, the traditional family structure changes

and the ways in which parents interact are modied; therefore,

the methods by which parents work together and interact with

their children must be redened within the new familial construct.

Research has shown that following divorce, positive eects of good

mothering (Shulman et al., 2012) and involved and active fathering

emerge—especially for daughters (Haaz et al., 2014). Bastaits and

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Eects of Divorce on Children

Mortelmans (2016) found that in such situations “both maternal

and paternal parenting are important mediators in explaining the

association between family structure and children’s well-being” (p.

2186). Continuing to parent together after divorce, though dicult,

is important because failing to do so may put children at a long-

term disadvantage.

Benets of Joint Eort

The ways divorced individuals work together as parents are

necessarily dierent than parents of intact families due to divorce’s

alteration of the family structure. Beckmeyer, Coleman, and

Ganong (2014) identied three types of coparenting: “cooperative

and involved,” “moderately engaged,” and “infrequent but

conictual” (p. 531). The researchers determined these groups

based on divorced parents’ ratings of several dierent aspects

of their parenting. Parents who were involved scored high on

communication and cooperation but low on conict, the conictual

group scored low on communication and cooperation but high

on conict, and the moderately engaged group had scores that

fell between the other two (Beckmeyer et al., 2014). Additional

research conducted on the coparenting relationship identied a

fourth type of coparenting, termed “undermining coparenting,”

in which parents struggle to divide their responsibilities and

undermine the authority of the other parent (Lamela, Figueiredo,

Bastos, & Feinberg, 2016, p. 724). Although there are many

approaches to coparenting, Shulman et al. (2012) found that when

divorced parents continue to be involved and supportive of their

children, the negative eects of divorce are often ameliorated. This

description resembles the ndings of Beckmeyer et al. (2014) that

examined cooperative coparenting. Bastaits and Mortelmans (2016)

also found that children who had supportive mothers and fathers

following divorce fared best overall. The amalgamation of these

studies’ ndings shows the importance of high-quality parenting

following divorce, including deliberate measures to cooperate and

communicate. Without such eorts, higher conict methods of

parenting may arise and negatively aect the children involved.

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Impact on Daughters’ Future Intimate Relationships

Several studies conducted to investigate the eects of divorce

on children have focused specically on daughters and the impact

divorce has on their future marriages. Researchers have found that,

in general, daughters of divorced parents often times have more

diculty in future intimate relationships than daughters from intact

families; however, this eect can be lessened through involved

parenting (Haaz et al., 2014; Mustonen, Huurre, Kiviruusu, &

Aro, 2011; Shulman et al., 2012). Some studies propose an indirect

connection between parenting and future relationship success

(Beckmeyer et al., 2014; Mustonen et al., 2011), while others oer a

more direct connection between the two (Haaz et al., 2014; Shulman

et al., 2012). Whether directly or indirectly, parenting appears to

play an important role in mediating the negative eects of divorce

in daughters’ intimate relationships.

Fathers and daughters. Each parent plays a unique and

important role in his or her daughter’s life. The contribution of a

father includes serving as the primary male role model for his child,

even after divorce. In fact, the father–daughter relationship may

become more important after divorce as explained by the following

insight from Haaz et al. (2014):

If [daughters] are able to form a close bond with their

father where they are encouraged to share openly and

feel supported, then they are likely to perceive that other

relationships with men should be similar and seek out

emotionally intimate relationships with men. (p. 172)

A girl’s relationship with her father informs her expectations of

men in general, as well as her beliefs about what marriage can and

should be. Similarly, Haaz et al. (2014) found that, in adult women

whose parents divorced, the emotional intimacy of their marriage

was strongly connected to the quality of their relationship with

their father. Following divorce, a father’s inuence on his daughter

is substantial, and care should be taken to keep the father–daughter

relationship healthy and open so that the daughter has an increased

likelihood of forming healthy romantic relationships in the future.

Eects of Divorce on Children

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Eects of Divorce on Children

Mothers and daughters. A good mother–daughter relationship

following divorce also factors in to the daughter’s future success in

intimate relationships. Shulman et al. (2012) found that following

divorce, when girls have a relationship with their mother that is

open and supportive, they often have higher-quality romantic

relationships. Specically, when mothers could clearly articulate

their experiences in romantic relationships, their daughters had a

greater chance of having healthy intimate relationships (Shulman

et al., 2012). Following divorce, mothers should not shy away from

discussions about their relationships and/or marriage with their

daughters because, although those subjects may feel awkward, a

home in which these are safe topics fosters children who are beer

adjusted in future romantic relationships (Shulman et al., 2012).

These studies on parenting convey a united message—each parent

individually plays an important role in their children’s emotional

development following divorce, and the greatest benets occur

when parents work together to coparent their children.

Importance of Minimizing Conict

Since parental conict often accompanies divorce, the eects of

each issue ought to be examined separately. Studies have shown

that witnessing parents’ marital conict negatively aects children’s

success in marriage and relationships (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Gager

et al., 2016; Sprague & Kinney, 1997). Though it is normal for

conict to occur in life, parents should know how it aects their

children so that they will be motivated to minimize conict in their

relationship. Fergusson, McLeod, and Horwood (2014) found that

divorce itself is not the principal hindrance to children’s future

success but rather that accompanying variables such as conict play

a primary role. Armed with this knowledge, an emphasis on conict

reduction following divorce should become a priority. If parents do

not decrease the amount of conict in their relationship following

divorce, their children may be adversely aected.

Eects of Conict on Children

The eects of parental conict on children regarding divorce

manifest themselves in a variety of ways. When exposed to

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continual conict, children struggle because they obtain “a more

disturbing view of the world” (Franklin, Jano-Bulman, & Roberts,

1990, p. 754), and this altered worldview may lead to diculty

in future relationships as the children learn and internalize their

parents’ conict styles (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Gager et al., 2016).

Fortunately, research has shown that when divorces eectively

decrease the amount of conict between parents, the negative eects

of the previously experienced conict may be lessened; children in

these situations have relationship success comparable to those from

low-conict families (Gager et al., 2016). When parents divorce, if

they take measures to have less conict in their relationship, they

can counteract the negative eects on their children due to previous

conict.

Sprague and Kinney (1997) identied problems with trust

and selessness in future marital relationships as another frequent

consequence of conict on children (see Table 1). Interestingly, these

eects were not found in children from intact families, indicating

that children from divorced families are particularly inuenced by

conictual family dynamics (Sprague & Kinney, 1997). Although

Braithwaite, Doxey, Dowdle, and Fincham (2016) reached a dierent

nding—that the eects of conict were seen in children only when

ghting parents stayed married and not when parents divorced—

many other studies have shown that conict between parents does

aect children even after their parents divorce (Franklin et al., 1990;

Sprague & Kinney, 1997). Even though parental conict may not

appear to have long-term eects on children, exposure to conict

may translate to hardship for those children in forming healthy

romantic relationships.

Transgenerational Paerns of Conict

Although parents may not realize it in the moment, when

they argue they are modeling conict behaviors for their children

and are teaching by poor example. If parents take no measures to

decrease the level of conict in their relationship, their children

may perpetuate the same problems in the future. Cui and Fincham

(2010) found that when parents have a large amount of conict

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Eects of Divorce on Children

in their relationship, their children may struggle with discord in

their future marriages because they may have learned unhealthy

behaviors and habits from their parents. If parents are uninformed

of the eects that arguing has on their children, they may think that

divorce is a sucient resolution; however, continued conict factors

signicantly into children’s future troubles in their own marriages.

Furthermore, Teachman (2002) found that when parents

divorce, children are more likely to experience divorce in their

own marriages. Research has also shown that eective parenting

following divorce can reduce the negative eects that children

experience (Beckmeyer et al., 2014; Haaz et al., 2014; Mahrer et al.,

2014; Shulman et al., 2012). Additionally, the transfer of conictual

marriage and divorce from parents to children may be halted by

decreasing the conict in the parents’ postdivorce relationship

(Gager et al. 2016). Furthermore, Sandler et al. (2013) found that

“even in high-conict divorces, the quality of parenting . . . can

have an important eect on their children’s mental health” (p. 922).

Improved mental health benets children and may contribute to the

decreased likelihood of experiencing divorce and other troubles in

future relationships, as mental health disorders have been linked to

higher likelihood of divorce (Breslau et al., 2011).

In a study examining conict and divorce, Gager et al. (2016)

revealed that “long-term exposure to high conict had the most

transformative eect on adult children’s relationship conict” (p.

257). Although this statement was given as a reason for high-conict

parents to divorce, it is equally valid as a warning against conict

following divorce. When parents divorce but maintain the same

level of relationship conict, their children will still experience

the negative eects of exposure to such conict, in addition to the

eects of divorce. If parents fail to take measures to reduce their

arguing following divorce, their children are likely to experience

the same conict-based issues in their own marriages.

Conclusion

Although divorce is prevalent in modern society, the negative

eects of marital dissolution on children’s future romantic

Donahey: Effects of Divorce on Children

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relationships need not be. As the example of the Robison family

illustrated previously, such problems exist but can be moderated

if the parents know what measures to take. One strategy is

coparenting; maintaining a cooperative and involved parenting

style following divorce greatly reduces the negative eects of

divorce, especially for daughters (Haaz et al., 2014; Mustonen et al.,

2011; Shulman et al., 2012). While physical and emotional distance

between parents frequently follows divorce, their eorts to continue

parenting together greatly benet their children.

Another tactic to reduce the adverse eects of divorce on

children is a unied parental determination to minimize the conict

in the postdivorce relationship. Not only does the divorce itself

impact children, but continued parental conict has additional

consequences, including learning and adopting the parents’

conict styles (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Gager et al., 2016), developing

future struggles with selessness and trust (Sprague & Kinney,

1997), and experiencing diculty in future relationships due to

a more negative worldview (Franklin et al., 1990). Parents who

take measures to decrease their levels of conict can decrease the

likelihood that their children will experience these consequences

in the future. Increased awareness of the eects of divorce on

children could motivate parents to take actions that decrease

the divorce rate by halting the transmission of negative learned

behaviors from parents to children, such as frequent conict and

lack of commitment to marriage. Increasing parents’ awareness of

how to help their children successfully navigate divorce may lead

to a decrease in the divorce rate, which may be due in part to the

increased mental health of the children.

This area of study oers many opportunities for future

research. The literature contains information regarding the eects

of divorce on daughters, but would benet from research devoted

to the eects of divorce on sons. Additional research could be

conducted to determine the most eective approach to raising

awareness about the eects of divorce. Informing parents regarding

the potential eects of divorce on their children may be most

eective if incorporated into the process of ling for divorce. This

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Eects of Divorce on Children

education could take the form of a mandatory class, an information

meeting, or a video that divorcing parents must watch. The mode

of delivery may not be as important as exposure to the information,

which ideally would delineate not only the potential eects but

also the steps parents can take to minimize those eects. Possible

benecial actions include eorts to continue parenting together

and eorts to minimize conict in the postmarriage relationship.

Research has found each of these practices to be eective in

reducing the consequences of divorce for children, as each

contributes to the healthy formation of children’s future romantic

relationships (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Gager et al., 2016; Haaz et al.,

2014; Shulman et al., 2014). If awareness of the eects of divorce on

children is increased, parents may more easily take steps to mitigate

these eects and thereby increase their children’s future romantic

relationship success.

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Adolescent daughters’ romantic competence: The role of divorce,

Eects of Divorce on Children

Intuition: The BYU Undergraduate Journal of Psychology, Vol. 13 [2018], Iss. 1, Art. 3

https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/intuition/vol13/iss1/3

Eects of Divorce on Children

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Table 1

Note. Children from divorced families reported signicantly higher levels

of conict in their families of origin than children from intact families.

Children from divorced families also reported signicantly lower levels

of trust and altruistic love in their romantic relationships. Adapted from

“The Eects of Interparental Divorce and Conict on College Students’

Romantic Relationships,” by H. E. Sprague, & J. M. Kinney, 1997, Journal of

Divorce and Remarriage, 27(1-2), pp. 85-104.

Donahey: Effects of Divorce on Children

Published by BYU ScholarsArchive, 2018