1232860_CRCeBook

C.R.A.M.

A Parent's Study Guide to

Managing Kids & Technology

In partnership with Safe Surfin’ Foundation

Table of Contents

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

About the Authors

Why We are Writing this Study Guide

A Different Type of Epidemic, Predators on the Rise

How to Talk to Kids About Online Safety & Predators by Age

5 Tips from a Psychologist to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse

What’s the Solution? C.R.A.M

Tactical Solutions

Prepared Parents - How To Recognize The Signs of Grooming

How We Manage Technology in Our Homes

Safety Settings on Devices

3 Steps To Take When A Child Predator Contacts Your Child

Helpful Links

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About the authors

Carly Yoost’s work is nationally recognized for her global fight against child exploitation.

After her father’s passing, Carly felt driven with purpose to carry on his legacy of

protecting children. Powered by technology that was developed at her family’s

company, she founded Child Rescue Coalition. Child Rescue Coalition is a nonprofit

organization that rescues children from sexual abuse by building technology for law

enforcement, free of charge, to track, arrest and prosecute child predators.

Since founding the nonprofit, the technology is now being used by officers in 97 counties

and has led to the arrest of over 13,500 child predators. In recognition of her work, Carly

won the L’Oréal Paris national competition and was named 2016-2017 L’Oréal Paris

Women of Worth National Honoree. In 2016, Carly received the President’s Lifetime

Achievement Award for her lifelong commitment to building a stronger nation through

volunteer service. In 2015, Carly was awarded the M&A Advisor's 40 Under 40 Emerging

Leaders Award. Prior to founding Child Rescue Coalition, Carly served as Co-CEO of TLO,

LLC, a technology company that specialized in investigative and child protection tools.

Carly holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Florida Atlantic University. Prior to

founding Child Rescue Coalition, Carly served as Co-CEO of TLO, LLC, a technology

company that specialized in investigative and child protection tools. Carly is a proud

mother of two young children. Being a mother has strengthened her belief that

children’s innocence is something we should all be fighting for.

Ret. Investigator Moe McClanahan recently retired after 20 yrs of service from the

Christiansburg Police Department (CPD) in Virginia. Moe served her last 8.5 years at CPD

as the Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) Investigator working both reactive and

proactive cases. First trained and certified in the CRC technology in 2012, Moe used our

technology to arrest child predators in her community and the surrounding areas.

During her time as an ICAC Investigator, she also trained and educated over 10,000

children, parents, and police officers in internet safety. Since her retirement she was

hired as the Director of Training and Education with the Safe Surfin’ Foundation, which is

a non-profit organization with the mission of educating and equipping both parents and

kids on being safe online. Moe also serves as a High-Tech Crime Specialist with the

National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C) where she instructs law enforcement

officers on how to best investigate cyber crimes to include crimes against children.

Moe received both her bachelor's and master's degree in Criminal Justice from the University

of Northern Colorado. She serves on the Board for The Children’s Trust, a local non profit

working to prevent child abuse by educating and advocating for youth in the community.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Carly Yoost

CEO, Founder, Board of Directors

Moe McClanahan

Director of Training, Safe Surfin’ Foundation

Why We are Writing this Study Guide by Carly Yoost

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Every day around 200,000 children go online

for the first time. Unfortunately, the online

world has not been designed with child

safety in mind. The problem with the online

space is that it just isn't regulated in the same

way the "real world" is.

Cars require seat belts and must meet

minimum safety standards designated by

law. The same goes for your toaster or your

new stove. But there are no requirements for

the internet.

At Child Rescue Coalition, everyday we track

predators around the world trading illegal

images and videos of very young children. To

date, we have led to the arrest of over 13,500

dangerous child predators and we have

identified 70 million IP addresses, or individual

computers, engaging in this predatory illegal

activity. The unfortunate truth of the matter is

that there are far more predators in our

system that will never be arrested.

What You See Isn’t Always What You Get

Online predators will go wherever children

are online - they may even try to pass

themselves off as children. You would never

let your child go to the local park to meet

with a group of men who are strangers. Yet

we allow these same strangers into our

homes with direct access to our kids via

Internet connected devices.

Building Skills for Safety

Learning to drive in the online world is just as

important as learning how to cross the road

or to drive a car - the key lessons are the

same!

What is dangerous?

What are the signs to look for?

What do I need to know BEFORE I head out?

What do I do when something goes wrong?

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

That’s why we are sharing this study guide. At Child Rescue Coalition, we get asked all the time

by supporters how to prevent childhood sexual abuse and online predators from harming our

children. The answer: KNOWLEDGE.

Parents Keeping Kids Safe

It’s our job as parents to arm ourselves with the information and technology to protect our

children. We are joining forces with Moe McClanahan, a former CRC Technology investigator

and educator at Safe Surfin’ Foundation to give you the tools you need to succeed!

The Safe Surfin’ Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit Cyber Safety and Responsibility educational

initiative. It was created by law enforcement professionals in 1998 and dedicated to the

protection and pro-active education of youth about safe and responsible use of technology.

The Foundation is improving and saving lives by joining forces with schools and youth groups

nationally and providing them with our Cyber SWAT program where kids teach kids about the

dangers of the internet. They also educate adults on emerging trends and dangers.

Tools You Need To Succeed

We put together this guide to help you navigate the changing pace of social media, gaming,

and the internet. We’ve sprinkled in some conversation starters to open up the lines of

communication and settings to check regularly on our children’s devices to keep them safe.

We hope you will study up, keep communicating with your kids, and take our advice seriously.

They only get one chance to be a child, let’s protect their innocence and let kids be kids while

using the internet safely.

A Different Type of Epidemic,

Predators on the Rise

by Moe McClanahan

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

The numbers don’t lie. Online victimization of children is on the rise, and we want to help YOU

better protect your kids.

I first started investigating Internet Crimes Against Children cases in 2006 and have watched

the evolution of these crimes move at the same pace as the ever evolving advancement of

technology. Educating the public has been more difficult. More than ever our children are

connected to the internet, especially with virtual learning during the pandemic of 2020. Statista

reports that in 2020 of the 313 million people in the United States, 85.8% had internet access,

and 274 million were mobile users.

At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, schools closed and students were sent

home with some form of an electronic device, whether it be a chromebook or tablet,

to continue to learn virtually. Parents were still required to work in the office or

virtually, leaving children unattended with access to the internet.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Police Investigators from around the country saw an increase in cybercrimes involving

children. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reported a 28% increase in

sexual exploitation cybertip reports in 2020 alone! The number of reports involving images of

child sexual abuse material increased from an average of 250,000 reports weekly prior to the

pandemic, to almost one million weekly reports in July of 2020.

Victimization ranges from cyberbullying, sexting, sextortion, sexual exploitation, child sexual

abuse material, and human trafficking. Children who fall victim to the predators suffer from

depression, anxiety and PTSD. It is our mission to help you identify these crimes, learn how to

prevent them from happening to your children, and why reporting is crucial.

Online child predators are continually using unique

and clever tactics to get in touch with children. In a

recent Virginia case, a man who was posing as a

teenager online created relationships with young

teens by convincing them to take inappropriate

pictures and videos of themselves. Sadly, this went on

for several years until he was caught.

Like this man, predators are communicating with each

other to learn better ways to identify victim’s

vulnerabilities to create trust with them online. This is

what we call grooming.

“Online child predators are

continually using unique and

clever tactics to get in touch

with children”.

How to Talk to Kids About Online

Safety & Predators by Age

by Moe McClanahan

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Predators cast a wide net to find a vulnerable child to groom, it's not a matter of if your child is

contacted by a predator, it's when. If your child is being victimized, you are not alone. We want

to help you be aware of the dangers and learn how to take back control when it comes to

safeguarding your children and your family.

It takes a network to defeat a network, let’s do this together and protect our children.

As an ICAC Investigator, I educated the community on Internet Safety, presenting to kids and

adults on the basics of online safety and trends of victimizations. I spent most of my time

discussing the dangers of sexting, sextortion, and exploitation. My message is: What you post

today will affect your future. My presentations are based on real cases involving child victims.

In January of 2016 our community suffered a tragic loss of

13-year-old Nicole Lovell. She met a Virginia Tech student

online, developed a relationship with him, and after she told

him that she may be pregnant, she was killed. He lured her

out of her home late at night, took her to a remote area and

stabbed her many times. He disposed of her body on the

side of the road.

I learned later that she was present during my presentation

and realized I needed to change the way I delivered my

message, because I wasn’t reaching the kids. Nicole has

been my driving force to not give up on educating and

reaching more people.

A Better Way Forward

K-2nd Grade - Key Messages for Early Elementary School Aged Children

Teach them to:

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

It helps to talk to your kids in an age appropriate way concerning online dangers. I learned to

be specific about the message based on the age of the child and that what I said had to be

relevant to their specific experiences.

Here are some conversation starters you can use based on your child’s age. Start with simple

topics at a young age and then build on those conversations with more important topics.

These conversations need to happen regularly. When the conversation is constant, kids feel

comfortable sharing about their online activities. There’s no fear of punishment over the

inappropriateness of others, just guidance on how to address it next time.

• Never share passwords with anyone other than you,

the parent. Write passwords down and keep them in a

safe place

• Netiquette - how to act online. Always be kind. Learn

more about Netiquette on the NCMEC website.

• The difference between real friends and “friends”

online. Set up rules and expectations that kids can’t

add friends that you don’t know, and to ask your

permission first.

• Never add or chat with anyone they’ve never met in

person before. Explain that there are some bad people

out there who want to hurt kids online.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

• Report any inappropriate behavior from friends online. This

includes bullying and talking to strangers

• YouTube/YouTube kids viewing should be age-appropriate.

Place restrictions to protect them from seeing violent,

pornographic and inappropriate material.

• Only use devices in common areas. This means no devices

in bedrooms or bathrooms. Kids are less likely to post or

share inappropriate content in public areas of the house.

• Sexting & Consequences. It can cause embarrassment,

lead to bullying, and it’s not something you can take back

or delete. It also is against the law depending on the state

• Don’t keep secrets. Teach them to report any inappropriate

or sexual requests to a trusting adult, and reassure them

they won’t get in trouble

• There’s an open door policy. Tell them they can come to

you about anything and you will listen without discipline.

Set up expectations well in advance.

• How to deal with Cyberbullying - it’s okay to tell an adult

when it’s happening. They should learn how to stick up for

themselves and others, and how not to be a bully.

• All the above

• Post with the future in mind. Talk about how what they post or share online will affect their

reputation and their future, like being accepted to a college or getting a job

3rd - 5th Grade - Key Messages for Tweens

Teach them the above plus:

8th-9th Grade Key Messages for Teens

Teach them the above plus:

10th - 12th Key Messages for Young Adults

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Here are 5 tips from a psychologist

to prevent childhood sexual abuse:

5 Tips from a Psychologist to

Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Carly Yoost

We hear it and see it all the time. A gymnastics teacher got too close to the girls he was

coaching. A doctor downloaded child sexual abuse material. Sadly, the statistics are true. Every

73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted and every nine minutes that victim is a child. With

the internet, it’s becoming even easier for predators to find and sexually abuse our children.

Childhood sexual abuse doesn’t discriminate based on race, culture, socioeconomic

background, or religion. While we can never protect our children 100%, there are things we can

do to reduce the risk of abuse and recognize the warning signs it might already be happening.

Communicate on a Regular Basis- Ask yourself, “Am I actively involved in my

children’s life and present, not distracted?” Do you show interest in your child’s life?

One way to do this is to ask your children questions every day after school. What was

the best part of your day? How are you feeling, what are you doing in class, and who

did you eat lunch with? Pay attention to changes! Maybe they sat with April every day

for two months and then for three days it was Pam. Did something happen? What

impacts them and how does it make them feel? These are important questions.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Be Careful Who You Leave your Children with – Do you know the parents of your

children’s friends? Who else is in those homes when your child is dropped off? Do your

children’s friends have older siblings, and will the sibling’s friends be present? It’s

important to always know who is going to be with your kids.

Talk about Our Bodies & Use Correct Terminology – From the very beginning, always

talk to your children about their bodies and body parts (including genitals), and

about appropriate boundaries. When talking about our bodies, teach kids the proper

names. This tells them it’s not shameful to use those terms and allows them to talk to

you about anything. Also make sure they know that their privates, or anywhere their

bathing suit touches, can only be touched by themselves. If a physician needs to

touch your child for treatment, a parent must always be present.

Boundaries– Teach your children what’s

healthy in terms of boundaries. It’s their

body and they get to decide what they

do with their bodies. For example, don’t

force your children to hug or kiss a friend

or relative. Verbally reinforce that to your

kids and ask permission, “Is it OK for me

to hug you?” Try to think about it

differently. It’s their choice who they hug

and kiss, and if they say no, they need to

know that you respect that. Download

coloring pages to help discuss body

boundaries here.

Secrets – Surprises are fun but secrets are not safe. What do people normally ask

you to keep secrets about? Birthday gifts, a special trip to Disney World…those are

surprises. But if someone asks you to keep a secret about your body, or if they tell you

that they will hurt you or someone you love if you tell the secret, that means to tell

your parents immediately.

Surprises are fun but secrets are not safe.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

What’s the Solution? C.R.A.M

by Carly Yoost

At Child Rescue Coalition events

we get asked all the time, “But

how do I actually keep my child

safe online?” Unfortunately there

is no ‘one size fits all answer.’ Most

families choose to give their

children tablets, phones or

laptops at all different ages and

stages. What works for one family

doesn’t always work for another.

We know that in this digital world

we have to parent with our

children, not against them. Here

are a few pieces of advice for

when you hand over that first key

to the digital world to your child.

When a parent decides to allow their child to use technology, it’s usually to watch videos, or

play an educational app. Maybe they want their child to learn to write their letters, or watch the

latest PBS show. As children get older, so do their tastes and interest in the internet. First, it might

be a server based video game, and later, phones and social media. Before handing over that

first device, please make sure you are prepared for the following:

Parents Lead Technology

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Your children’s needs and maturity level. Do you understand your child’s wiring and are you

prepared to set limits?

Are you ready to learn all the forms of technology your children are using?

Will you invest in the proper tools to monitor your child’s actions online and oversee the

technology?

If you answered YES to all three of these questions then you are ready to C.R.A.M for your

technology test. We have developed this acronym to help parents all over the globe navigate

the online world and keep kids safe from online predators.

One way to ensure our children understand the rules of online responsibility is to have them sign a

contract before powering up their new device. As we’ve done research into creating a Child

Rescue Coalition contract, we’ve found there are many online that focus on phones and social

media use, but we wanted ours to have a more holistic digital feel. It’s not just for kids to sign either.

Child Rescue Coalition founder and CEO Carly Yoost says,

“It is just as important for parents to learn internet safety as it is for their children. Parents could

unknowingly be putting their children at risk by sharing online about their children. Our CRC

contract is a new way of thinking about family internet safety. Showing your child that you will

follow safety rules as well sets a great example for your children to do all that you can to remain

safe online.”

C.R.A.M

C isn’t just for Cookies, it’s for a CONTRACT

We’ve created a two-way contract to be

read, discussed, and signed by both

parents and children before they venture

online. Parents need to stay on top of new

research and have open communication

with their kids. Just as you need a license

to drive a car, you also need to sign a

contract before using the internet. Both

are a privilege not a right, and rules

should apply to both parents and kids.

DOWNLOAD HERE.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Did you know you could use your router to limit screen

time or even pause Wi-Fi? If you have the time and

patience to dig through the settings of your wi-fi router,

you can filter who has access to what online content

when. You can also shut off the internet when it’s time

for homework or bedtime. If you’re ready to get serious

about online safety, invest in a really good router. Some

of our favorites are Bark Home, EERO, and Gryphon.

These routers are easily accessible and allow parents to

shut down wi-fi from remote locations.

The risks that children face today look different

than they did in the past. With easy access to

the internet, there are endless opportunities for

learning and connection, but those

opportunities also come with risks. Children can

quickly and easily connect with adults who don’t

have their best interests at heart, or could take in

damaging or confusing content. According to a

study shared by NetNanny, 82% of children are

exposed to inappropriate material online by

age 11, which is a startling statistic.

How can you best monitor your kid’s every

move on the apps on their phones or tablets?

Not easily without a little help! Thankfully

there’s an app that can do that. Or three! We

recommend using:

No, you don’t need to go buy a new monitor for

your home computer, but you DO need to

monitor who your kids are talking to online. How

do you do this? Check your child’s phone, emails,

DM’s, texts and social media accounts. Yes, it’s

smart to check your child’s device. It’s not

snooping. It’s important to understand what type

of media they are consuming, what videos they

are watching, and if someone may have said

something or sent something inappropriate.

Glen Pounder, COO of Child Rescue Coalition

says, “Think about it this way – would you be

happy for your child to meet a 43-year-old

strange man in a park while you stood only 10

or 15 yards away? Why should it be any

different when your child is in their bedroom

meeting a potential child predator online?”

It is 100% YOUR right to check your child’s

devices. Please do it, and be proactive,

positive and a part of the solution.

1. Screentime through Apple (see settings above)

2. Google Family Link - great for Android users

3. Bark - Monitors your child’s email, social

media and text messages for potential risks.

You’ll even get parental alerts with child

psychologist recommendations to address the

issues reported. Bark shares its track record as

including “5.2 million children protected, 16

school shootings prevented and 34 thousand

severe self-harm situations detected.”

R- ROUTER

A- APPS

M- MONITOR

It’s smart to check your child’s

device. It’s not snooping

We can’t be everywhere all the time, but we

can use technology to manage technology!

Tactical Solutions

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

by Carly Yoost

Now that you’ve CRAMMED for your technology test, you are ready to implement technology in

your home. Sounds like you’ve got all your bases covered right? Almost! There are still a few more

tactical solutions you can use to make sure your kids aren’t getting a technical overdose.

Charge devices in common area

Always, and we mean ALWAYS set up a charging

station in your home. It can be an actual locked

box you order for your family, a fun station that

allows you to charge all in one place, the kitchen

counter or your nightstand. The key is to have a

time that your devices must be charged, and

parents have to follow through with this!

You can’t fall asleep watching Netflix while your kids surf the net. Parents need to set a reminder

each night to grab all devices or instruct kids to do this before the allotted time. This way you know

your kids are safe and not visiting places online you don’t approve of, or talking to a stranger.

No internet in the bedrooms

“20 years ago kids were safe in their bedrooms, now with the internet and social media, they are

not.” Glen Pounder, COO Child Rescue Coalition

Does your child’s perceived right to privacy supersede

their safety? It is 100% your right to check their devices.

20 years ago our kids were safe in their bedrooms, now with the

internet and a connection to the outside world they are not.

-Bill Wiltse, President Child Rescue Coalition

Glen Pounder, Chief Operating Officer Child Rescue Coalition

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

This is a hard one for all of us, but let’s face it,

allowing kids to be online playing video

games or on social media talking to

strangers is dangerous. They are literally

inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry into your

homes nightly. The single best strategy to

combat your child from being groomed is to

insist that all devices be used in common

areas of the home.

Know all passwords and logins to every

account

We hope that there is never an issue, that your

kids stick to the rules of the information

superhighway and never run into a tricky “friend”

or online predator. But if they do, and you have to

involve a school resource officer or investigator,

the first thing parents are asked for is access to

all accounts. Phone login, email passwords, and

the logins to all gaming platforms or social

media accounts. This is especially helpful in

locating missing children, and trying to identify

predators. It also allows your kids to know that in

your home you have an open door and open

device policy.

Now that you have some safety strategies

in your back pocket, it’s time to learn how

predators work. They do something we

call grooming. We talked about this a bit

earlier and it’s a way predators interact

with kids so they can gain their trust. As

parents it is important to not only to open

up discussion with your children about

the dangers of grooming behaviors, but

also know the signs so you can intercept

and end the communication.

Safe Surfin’s Moe McClanahan shared with us what she saw as an investigator in terms of signs

to identify your child is being groomed:

Praise (Flattery) - This can look as innocent as “you are really pretty/handsome I’d love to see

more of you.” They will play into the child denying being pretty, acting shy in response and

having self-esteem vulnerabilities.

Prepared Parents -The 7 P’s to Recognizing

the Signs of Grooming

by Moe McClanahan

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

Many times when I would work undercover chat investigations, I would receive flattery from

predators just seeing my profile picture which was only an image of my eye with a little bit of

my bangs. They would ask for more pictures after learning I was only 13 years old.

Precocious Conversation - This is a way to feel out the child and see if they are interested. The

conversation will start out asking if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, if they’ve ever kissed and

then if they’ve done more. If the child reveals personal details about past relationships then the

predator has started the process of gaining their trust.

The escalation may lead to asking them what

the child is wearing, looking to see if the child will

be willing to divulge. This may lead to

conversation about masturbation, sexual

contact, or sharing links to pornography or child

sexual abuse material.

Photo sharing- As the predator feels out the

child’s responses to the above topics they will

either first send a naked image to the child to

gauge interest in sexual talk or contact. They

might ask the child to send naked images of

themselves. Most children want reassurance

that they are beautiful with and without clothes

on to feel better about themselves, not realizing

that it’s causing them harm.

Privacy - If you see your child is being

asked to keep a conversation secret, it

should raise a flag. Portions of the

conversation may have already been

deleted by the time you read it so be aware

you may have missed grooming behavior or

sharing of images.

Pressure - Blackmail threats come in different

forms and can lead to what is called sextortion.

When a child is asked to send naked images

and does, the predator may request more

images and threaten to expose the child to

family and friends if they don’t send more.

Images then lead to videos and/or requirement

of sexual acts. Those images and videos are

eventually shared on adult sites or sold on the

dark web. This is considered sextortion.

Another form of blackmail is when the predator

requests money or they will expose the child’s

photos on the open web for everyone to see.

Many children have committed suicide from

these type of threats.

Presents - The predator will try trickery such

as sending gifts to win the trust of the child if

other grooming tactics are not working. They

may send gift cards (even electronic, so

monitor their email), clothing, cell phones, or

jewelry. Be mindful of the packages in the mail

and if your child has extra Robux or Vbux on

their gaming platforms.

Pulling away - Another form of grooming is

through emotional/verbal abuse from the

predator. They will reinforce to the child that

they are the only ones who truly understand

them and care about them and that the child

should be making more time for them if they

cared about them too. The predator may

even threaten to “break up” or end

communication if the child doesn’t give in to

their wishes. Look for signs in the

conversations that the predator is possessive.

Be aware of these signs of grooming

behaviors to keep your kids safe from

predators. One of the ways to reduce the risk

of these situations is to be strategic about

how you manage technology in your home.

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

How We Manage Technology in Our Homes

Moe

I was actually 34 weeks pregnant with my son when I

was promoted to the position of the Internet Crimes

Against Children Investigator. We started

conversations early in his childhood, so a lot of the

topics shared above are from personal experience.

We watched kid videos on not sharing passwords

when he was four years old. We had conversations

about how mommy’s job was putting bad guys in jail

who would try to hurt kids on the internet.

My son mainly plays video games (Roblox, Fortnite,

Among Us). My husband and I researched and played

with him to learn all of the ins and outs of each game

before we allowed him to play solo. We set things up so

he can’t receive invites from strangers. He is

consistently reminded he is not allowed to play or talk

with strangers in private mode.

His gaming devices are all in the living room, never in his bedroom. He has even told his friends he is

not allowed to play with strangers, so they shouldn’t either. He has come to me with concerns about

his friends’ online activities and suggested I talk to their parents. .

We removed YouTube and YouTube kids from our home four years ago. We let him watch other

children who had channels and found he wanted what they had. It was hard to explain that it wasn’t

reality. He was comparing himself to others and it was robbing him of joy. He was told it wasn’t a

punishment, that it was my way of helping him be more joyful. Now if he wants to look up a tutorial

he asks me first and I approve it.

He will not have social media until he is at least 13 and only then if he is mature enough. It will all be

monitored and I will have the passwords. It will only be on a tablet or through his chromebook since

he will not have a smartphone until he is 16 and driving.

He wants to be a YouTuber so he creates videos on my private channel and gives the link to his

friends. This has been a great compromise. He is not allowed to post TikToks or reels due to issues

with my account being compromised.

It can be a battle at times and I know as he gets older there will be more pressure to give in. Knowing

what I know, I will stay the course and keep educating others about why it’s so important to be in

control of family technology.

Carly

C.R.A.M Parent's Study Guide

My children are young, six and four, and luckily we haven’t yet reached the years where

parenting and technology becomes a difficult battle. Even though our kids are young, it is never

too early to start communicating with kids about online safety and good online behavior. The

internet is part of everyday life and we need to teach children about both the good and bad

aspects of the online world.

We are fairly conservative when it comes to allowing our children access to technology. We do

not own iPads simply because we know we would have to battle them daily about screen time.

If you don’t own one they really don’t ever ask for it.

When grandma comes over their favorite thing to ask for is her

iPad. We are fine with them using one at school or with grandma,

especially while someone is watching what they do online.

Personally, my husband and I find that it just makes our jobs as

parents easier to simply not own any.

We do allow our six-year-old to play Roblox and Minecraft on my

laptop. I was able to easily go into settings and disable all chat

and friend request options. She doesn’t even know that Roblox has

a chat feature and so it's easy for her not to miss something she

never knew existed. We have a policy that if a game allows for chat

but does not have parental settings they are not allowed to play. I

regularly check in with her to make sure that no one is messaging

her or sending friend requests.

We do allow our children to watch YouTube. I used to let them watch it on my phone but now

they only watch it in our bedroom while I am in the room. My daughter stumbled upon a video of

a demonic Peppa Pig that talked about hurting kids and we learned how dangerous YouTube

can be.

When it comes to home technology, we make sure that we have super secure passwords to all

of our home cameras and baby monitors. Predators have hacked into cameras and monitors so

we make sure they have difficult layers of protection on them.

We practice “pause before you post” with social media. I ask before posting photos of them online.

We also talk about why some pictures are safe and why others are not. I remind them that we

never share pictures that expose their bodies, information about where they live or go to school.

It’s all a delicate balance when it comes to technology. There are dangers that come with

smartphones and the internet, but we find that Facetiming with friends and family is a fun way to

stay connected. I don’t want our children to fear the internet, but I do want them to, even at an

early age, be making good choices. If we can start making good choices now, our hope is they will

continue in the future.

How will you manage technology in your family?

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The Goods on Gaming

Gaming can offer kids a sense of escape,

which is even more attractive through the

pandemic. Games encourage creativity with

building, problem solving through strategic

movement and teamwork by way of shared

experiences with their friends online. These are

all wonderful outcomes but anytime your child

is connected to the internet with these games,

they are exposed to potential dangers. These

dangers include cyberbullying, online

solicitation and like we discussed above,

grooming by child predators.

How to Play Safe and Have Fun

Take time and learn how the game works! I

suggest playing with them or doing research

on reported dangers. If you are allowing your

child to play, it is important to know how the

games work, where the chats come from and

who has access to them.

Three most important things to consider when

keeping your child safe on any platform are:

1. Activity Monitoring

2. Setting App and Game Limits

3. Restricting Content

Listed below are some of the most common

games kids are playing and the different

ways to communicate. Each has their own

type of communication. Most have text

messaging, private messaging and some

have voice chat depending on the platform

(Switch, computer, Xbox, mobile).

Fortnite: Both voice chat and text chat can be

used to contact your child while playing games.

Among Us: Chat inside the game

Roblox: There are chat features inside of each

of the servers depending on the game they are

playing and there are also private messages

within the Roblox profiles. Settings allow.

Minecraft: Both voice chat and text chat can

be used depending on the different platform

the game is played on.

Here are some of the safety settings to help

reduce communication from potential predators.

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Fortnite Parental Settings

Launch Fortnite on your platform of choice.

Open the menu in the upper right of the screen.

Select ‘Parental Controls’.

Confirm the email address linked to the account. If no email address is linked to the account

you will be asked to link one.

Set a unique six-digit PIN. This PIN will be required to change parental controls in the future, so

make sure it is different from other PINs you use and easy to remember.

Set the parental controls according to your preferences.

Use the ‘Save’ button to save your selection.

Party Settings

You can control your party privacy from the Party Hub settings on your Fortnite application.

Decide if your party is open for your friends and their friends to join, or lock the party so no one

can join uninvited.

To lock your party, tap the lock icon on the main Party Hub screen. You can also unlock your

party by tapping on the same lock icon.

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Roblox Parental Controls

Parents can limit or disable online chat capabilities, restrict access to a curated list of

age-appropriate games and customize monthly spend restrictions and spend notification

frequency in a secure way.

See visual here:

https://corp.roblox.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/FriendlyFraud_ParentalControl-1-1.mp4

Log into the account

Go to Account Settings page by clicking

on the gear-icon located in the

upper-right corner of the page followed

by Settings.

Click on the Privacy tab and under "Who

can chat with me in app?""Who can

message?"and "Who can chat with me?",

select No one.

Scroll to the bottom of the screen and

click Save

Note: Turning off chat for "in-app" will disable the Team Create option in Roblox Studio.

How to Disable Chat & Ability to Post on Group Walls

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MineCraft

Xbox One

Launch Minecraft for the Xbox One.

Head into a session.

Press the pause button on your Xbox One controller.

Go to “Options.”

Head to “Multiplayer Settings.”

Press “A” while highlighting the “Chat” option.

Make sure it says “Hidden.”

PS4

Load a game of Minecraft on your PS4.

Press the Start button on the controller.

Select “Multiplayer Settings.”

Hover over “Chat: Shown.”

Change it to “Chat: Hidden.”

Exit the menu and continue playing.

Among Us

Local private freeplay games

Online self hosted invite-only games

Online public games

“Quick Chat Only” - if you input your age as

under 13yrs of age you are automatically

assigned as a filtered player and can only

select preassigned comments that are game

friendly like “Where” or “RIP” or other related

responses.

Issues

This can be bypassed by changing the age of

the player

Children can still see the chat from other players.

Settings

Open Game App

Select Settings

Censor Chat “Toggle On” (can be changed

without passcode)

iOS and Android

Launch Minecraft on your mobile device.

Head into a multiplayer world.

Tap the Pause button.

Select “Settings.”

Choose “Accessibility.”

Tap on “Chat: Shown.”

When it says “Chat: Hidden,” you can tap “Done”

and continue playing.

Nintendo Switch

Open Minecraft for the Nintendo Switch.

Start a game.

Press the Pause button on your preferred controller.

Choose “Options” from the Pause menu.

Select “Multiplayer Settings” to bring up a host

of options.

Press “A” when you’re highlighting “Chat: Shown.”

When it says “Chat: Hidden,” save your settings,

and you can go on playing Minecraft.

1 2

3 4

iPhone

1. Location - make sure to turn off location on your child’s

device unless you’re using a tracking app. Here’s where you

do it:

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Safety Settings on Devices

If your child is going to have a smartphone, there are important safety and privacy settings you

should know about. We’re going to show you how to use them to keep your kids safe and reduce the

risk of them coming into contact with distressing or confusing contact. Whether you have an Apple

or an Android, follow these tips to lock down your devices.

by Moe McClanahan

Mobile

Safety

Settings

(toggle on or off based on personal preference.)

Settings Privacy Location Services

IPHONE HACK TO KEEP KID'S SAFE

To do this go to SETTINGS PRIVACY

Location Services (ON)

Camera set to NEVER

On an iPhone, make sure you set the camera to NEVER allow your

child’s location to be seen.

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2. Screen Time - This is such an amazing resource for iOS users! Stay in Control as the parent.

To further protect your child, turn the location off on their camera so no one can see where their

photos were taken. Do this in:

To access Screen Time, go to:

Settings NEVERPrivacy Location Services (ON)

Settings Screen Time Downtime

App Limits

Communication Limits

Please note LOCATION SERVICES must be ON to turn these off for your camera.

Limits apply to phone calls, Facetime,

messages and iCloud contacts

schedules shut off time (no more arguments)

set time limits on individual apps

Content & Privacy Restrictions

Always Allowed Limit contacts

Select allowed apps during downtime

block inappropriate content by age

iTunes purchases - be in control of what kids can purchase

Allowed Apps - Turn off apps such as camera, web

browsers, Facetime if you choose

Content Restrictions - restrict web content, what they can

search using Siri, and put guidelines in place for Game

Center (turn off private messages, adding friends, profile

privacy changes)

Turn off Passcode changes, cellular data, account

changes, background app activities

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Android

Install the Family Link App through the Google Play

Store. Google Family Link allows you as a parent to

set limits and access permissions for Android

phones. You can use it to manage Google Play

purchases, set content restrictions, and require

approval for app installs. With SafeSearch, you can

remove sexually explicit and violent results in:

Google App Settings General Safe SearchMore Menu (...)

Here’s how to set filters on Chrome, including custom black and whitelisting for websites.

You can use it to monitor Android app

activity and set limits for each app.

(toggle on and off).

You can also use Location

tracking to find your child's device.

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3 Steps To Take When A

Child Predator Contacts Your Child

You can save your child’s

web and YouTube history

You’ve installed monitoring software on all of your child’s devices. You don’t allow screens in the

bedroom. You’re careful about where you let your kids hang out online. But somehow, your child

still gets contacted by a child predator. What do you do now?

Don’t despair. Don’t blame yourself or your child. This sometimes happens, and with the dangers

of child predators on the internet, many parents have questions about what to do when they

realize their child has been communicating with a predator. If you find that your child has been

contacted by a predator, here is exactly what you should do.

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Screenshot the evidence of the conversations between your child

and the predator. Make sure that you capture the username and

time stamps of the conversation and what was said. Do not report

the predator’s account to the social media or other platform just yet

(we’ll do that in step #3).

Many parents who find themselves in this heartbreaking situation

ask if by documenting with screenshots they would be considered to

be in possession of child sexual abuse materials and subject to

prosecution. The answer to that is “No.” You will not be prosecuted for

screenshotting images that get turned over to law enforcement.

Don’t try to handle this on your own. Local law enforcement

agencies are important partners in addressing the issue of child

predators and keeping your kids safe. Contact the National Center

for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)’s Cyber Tip Line and

submit a report with your evidence. NCMEC will review your tip and

will work to find a potential location for the incident reported so that

it may be made available to the appropriate law enforcement

agency for investigation. They will know what to do and what needs

to happen to make sure everyone stays safe.

Document everything.

Get help & contactlaw enforcement.

Once you’re in contact with law enforcement via NCMEC, follow

their guidance on how and when to report to social media or other

online platforms. This is important because when you make a

report to the online platform, the predator’s account will get shut

down, and inadvertently alert them that they have been found out.

This then leads to the predator avoiding detection, creating a new

account and continuing to abuse more children. Ensure that you

block and report only after law enforcement gives the green light to

do so. You need to make sure that they have everything they need

for their investigation and that your actions don’t compromise the

take down.

Finding out your child has been contacted by a predator is a heart-wrenching experience, but

if you follow the steps we’ve outlined you will be able to help protect even more children from

being abused. Taking the time to document the interactions, getting help, reporting what

happened to law enforcement, and following their instructions will greatly increase the odds the

predator will be successfully apprehended and brought to justice.

Finally, take care of yourself and your family and seek counseling to deal with the feelings that

come from such a traumatic experience. You can do everything by the book and still have a

predator slip through the cracks and contact your child, so it’s important not to blame yourself.

All parents are doing the best they can to navigate the complicated world of online safety.

Follow law enforcement instructions to block and report to online platforms

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Helpful Links

Knowledge is power and we want you to be prepared for what’s out in the digital world so you

can prepare your kids. Cell phones, gaming and social media can have special considerations

when it comes to setting guidelines for your family. Here are some resources that will help you

learn more about keeping your kids safe online.

Watch our video series on the risks of online sexual abuse and how to keep kids safe.

Download our free coloring pages to talk to kids about consent and body boundaries.

Here are helpful tips about kids and social media.

Learn more about video gaming safely here.

Find more parenting tips on the Child Rescue Coalition blog.

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/childrescuecoalition

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/childrescuecoalition/

Twitter https://twitter.com/childrescueco

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/childrescuecoalition

Website https://childrescuecoalition.org

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/safesurfinfoundation

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/safe.surfin/

Website https://safesurfin.org

WHAT TO DO WHEN A CHILD PREDATOR

CONTACTS YOUR CHILD

1. Document everything

2. Report the contact to law enforcement ﬁrst

3. Follow law enforcement's instructions on

when to report to the online platform

Join us in our mission to keep

kids safe online and donate today.